it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
third nipple confirmed
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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