I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
