dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wish there were birth control emojis
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
