When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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