Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
