dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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