ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
