if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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