I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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