At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I want to make a zoo with you.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
