the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize