i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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