Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
if only i could text you this smell
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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