I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
