ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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