so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
