That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
