you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
