On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
