sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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