at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
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You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
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I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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