Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize