You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
