Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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