U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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