too bad you live with your parents still
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
