so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
