He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't think brook has ever known best
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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