Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
