I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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