He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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