Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
