Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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