I think I just saw someone hide a body.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
