I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
