I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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