There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
