We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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