no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he was CRYING into my vagina
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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