So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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