the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
