I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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