no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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