Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
