cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
