So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
