Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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