I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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