sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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