I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just want to make out with him forever
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
