Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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