We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
