you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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