Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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