Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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