Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I could make wine with my vomit
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
