She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
