Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize